Killing lizards with samurai swords, Italian poems about pork, and a hippie dominatrix

By orata

I was in a class assignment where we were given a bag and had to kill six giant green iguanas that would spawn from the bag and grow to about 3 feet long (plus tail) within a matter of minutes. I felt quite sad for them because they were gentle and herbivorous and had been chosen because they would not be a threat to us, and we were supposed to kill them. They gave us samurai swords to use to cut off their heads, but somehow I lost mine and wound up with a replacement made of wood. I had to step on many of the lizards’ heads to crush them instead of using the sword. I think at some point they were chameleons, not iguanas.

I was later sitting in on an Italian class with Suneeta and Tiffany. Suneeta didn’t want to stay in class, so we shooed her quietly out the side door, where we saw her run up some stairs with her husband. She was wearing a ball gown, as was another woman running down a path nearby. It was a sunny summer day and the trees were green and leafy. I sighed and tried to settle down to the assignment. I was trying to write a rhyming poem about pork, specifically, sausage and pigs (salsiccia and maiale). Finally, the teacher dismissed us and I felt slightly relieved about not having to do the assignment, but also slightly frustrated that I had worked on it and wouldn’t have to turn it in.

I went upstairs to a dominatrix’s house, up about six winding flights of stairs into a quiet attic. I was going to pay her for her services. She was a sweet and soft-spoken New Agey hippie, and she explained to me that she wouldn’t start with the degradation and bossiness until the clock started running. I started to choose a tea to drink, and she said, “Well, that’s kind of the exception, I insist that you drink this one instead,” and began preparing the new tea for me.

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One Response to “Killing lizards with samurai swords, Italian poems about pork, and a hippie dominatrix”

  1. what? Says:

    you on some drugs or what

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